Supporting Parents through sensory challenges During the Holidays

Written by: Nicole Kristal, MS, OT/L from occupationaltherapy.com 

Edited by: Lauren Goff, COTA/L and Victoria Daniels, COTA/L

The unavoidable truth

Dysregulation is going to happen during the holidays. The season is filled with routine changes, additional seasonal sensory input,  and unpredictable changes. Consider how all of these holiday-themed sensory changes might impact your child’s success over the holidays:

• Stores - louder, more crowded, higher intensity and speed, look different with decorations

• Constant music 

• Christmas tree/holiday lights and differences in lights at different holiday venues/places you’re staying

• Different foods

• Hugs from family members we don’t see very often

• Different bed 

• Weather changes 

• Sitting in a car multiple times, extra daily transitions 

• School is out, routine is off 

Parents and caregivers, you can support your child through these changes by being educated and equipped! Let’s think about all the details and plan ahead.  The main ways to support your child’s nervous system during the holiday season are: 

1. Recognizing potential triggers and signs of dysregulation

2. Be Proactive! Modify activities and take proactive steps to support/prepare your child for holiday changes

 3. Stay present through co-regulation. Prepare with what sensory strategies to use when those proactive steps do not work.

Recognize triggers and warning signs

Meltdown incoming! - What to look out for:

• Signs of Emotional Dysregulation:

  • Refusal to participate in activities we expected would be “fun” - Think flat out refusing to play on the Christmas trains, even though trains are their favorite

  • Hiding

  • Decreased abilities for executive function, effortful control, and making adaptive responses

  • Impulsive behaviors

  • Tantrums

  • Irritability

  • Low frustration tolerance

  • Mood swings - being excited to see Santa, then refusing to sit on his lap after waiting in line

  • Frequent negative moods

  • Frequent crying/whining

  • Aggression

• Signs of Sensory Dysregulation:

  • Uncontrollable laughter - overly silly 

  • Movement that is fast and hard

  • Speaking fast (or in a way that you can’t understand them)

  • Excess saliva (it doesn’t always look like drooling, sometimes they could have an extremely wet mouth)

  • Unable to follow instructions (if you ask them to do a simple task, they either won’t hear or are unable to follow through) 

  • Impulsive (especially with unsafe movements)

  • Dilated pupils

  • Shrieking or high pitched yelling

  • Making illogical or unrealistic requests one after another

  • Changes in the child’s interoception, or the ability to notice and manage physiological factors including hunger, thirst, tiredness, and needing to use the bathroom

  • Regulation can impact the ability to utilize executive functions, ability to do regular daily activities, like getting dressed independently. 

Be Proactive! : Prevention trumps Intervention

Consistency creates comfort. Try to keep your child’s core routine as steady as possible, especially sleep, meals, and quiet time. But it’s equally important to acknowledge that holiday routines will shift. Preparing your child for these changes ahead of time helps transitions feel safer and more predictable.

• Anticipate where routines may change (travel, mealtimes, sleeping arrangements).

• Overestimate timing (e.g., “The drive might take 4–5 hours depending on traffic”).

• Create backup plans for travel and daily schedules. 

• Ideas for managing unpredictable changes on the road: stop at rest stops, go to a playground for a movement break, stop for a snack. 

• For more tips on traveling with neurodivergent children, read through our Tips for Travel blog post.

• Use Visual Supports to Build Predictability. Visuals give children a sense of control and understanding especially when life feels unpredictable. 

  • Social stories or visual schedules outlining holiday plans.

  • Pictures of family members, travel destinations, airports, hotels, or holiday venues.

  • A written schedule for the day and review it often, not just once.

  • A large family calendar with both expected and unexpected events.

  • Include an “If this… then that…” section (e.g., “If there’s traffic, we might stop at a hotel.”)

• Communicate Clearly with Extended Family. This step is often one of the most important and most overlooked. When family members understand the “why,” they’re more likely to support your child’s needs throughout the celebration. Before holiday gatherings, let extended family know:

  • Why your child’s routine matters.

  • Your mealtime or bedtime needs.

  • That you may need quiet spaces or built-in sensory breaks. 

  • The boundaries your child needs (e.g., “They don’t like hugs; here’s what they prefer instead.”)

  • That you may adjust, leave early, or opt-out if your child becomes overwhelmed.

  • If visiting friends or family, find out in advance if there is a space available in their home where their child can go if they feel overwhelmed.

• Schedule Rest and Sensory Breaks Into the Day. Busy days full of holiday fun can be overstimulating, even for children without sensory sensitivities. Building in downtime helps to prevent your child from hitting a point of overwhelm. 

  • Plan for extra downtime and encourage regular sensory breaks.

  • Try adding structured opportunities for the child to access calming sensory input

  • Break down holiday activities into smaller steps (ex: When opening gifts: Spread it out throughout the day)

  • Watch for early signs of dysregulation and slow down the pace.

  • Maintain bedtime routines and familiar calming rituals, even while traveling.

• Pack and Prepare Sensory Tools. Think of sensory tools as your “holiday regulation toolkit.” A few items can make a big difference during travel, noisy gatherings, or long, unstructured days. 

  • Noise canceling headphones

  • Sensory fidgets

  • Calming/weighted blankets and stuffies

  • Weighted items

  • Chewy tubes

  • Books

  • Calming music and/or Tony boxes

  • Pack a scooter board, sensory bins, bubbles, body sock, light portable

    doorway swing when traveling to be able to pull out items for

    sensory breaks when outside the house

• Empower and Prepare Your Child Ahead of Time. Children feel more confident and grounded when they know what to expect. Talk with them before events or trips, using clear, simple language paired with visuals. 

  • Educate your child in advance of the things that they should expect will be different and give them strategies on how to minimize them. Don’t expect the child to be able to independently use these tools/strategies; they need you to notice their regulation changes and help use the tools together 

    • Ex:  “While visiting Grandma’s house, there will be a lot of Christmas lights on everywhere. We have already asked Aunt Edna to turn them off during the day, and they will only be on for one hour at nighttime”

  • Talk ahead of time about what will be different and what will stay the same.

  • Give simple strategies for managing sensory overload, and model using them together.

  • Identify a quiet, safe space in any home you’re visiting.

  • Feed the child foods they are used to eating, pack their safe foods and food brands (as opposed to someone else’s cooking)

  • Reassure your child they will still have access to breaks, visual supports, and familiar routines.

  • Create a plan with the child, when they are calm and regulated, for what options are available if they become overwhelmed.

    • “If I feel overwhelmed, I can… take a break / use headphones / ask for help.”

Staying Present Through Co-Regulation

Caregivers, tune in to your child’s changing behaviors and recognize your own emotional state. Providing supportive, consistent responses in the midst of dysregulation can help your child develop a growing capacity for self-regulation. Don’t forget your most powerful tool is co-regulation. Children learn to manage their own emotions by watching how their caregivers’ respond to their own experiences of negative emotions.

Helpful Strategies when the Child is Becoming Dysregulated:

1. Label the observable behavior

2. Use a curious question (“I noticed your body got really loud, what’s going on inside?”)

3. State your own regulatory strategy (squeeze a stress ball, blow bubbles, bear hugs, etc.)

4. Invite the child to join you in a strategy 

5. Try to minimize verbal language - if needed, keep it simple, clear and concise

6. Have a phrase they repeat over and over (ex: You are safe, and I am here)

7. Talk to the child at a LATER time to revisit the incident and ask how they are doing. Do they need to go home? Encourage them to try to understand what is going on and then modify the environment!

Friendly Reminder - You’re Doing Great!

Holiday unpredictability is tough on kids and parents, but by being proactive, planning ahead, and communicating clearly, you’re setting the stage for a calmer, more enjoyable season for everyone.You’re not aiming for a “perfect holiday.” You’re aiming for a regulated, connected, and manageable one, and that’s more than enough!

Tips for Traveling with Neurodivergent Children

Tips for Traveling with Neurodivergent Children

For families with neurodivergent children, traveling can present unique challenges. With thoughtful planning and preparation, you can make the experience smoother and more enjoyable for everyone. This guide offers tips for parents when traveling with neurodivergent children, covering travel by plane and car, as well as general planning. 

General Trip Planning

• Involve Your Child: 

• If possible, involve your child in the planning process. This could include letting them choose some activities or stops along the way. Whatever you choose, the goal is to help your child feel more invested in the trip.  

• Practice Traveling 

• Practicing travel routines can also be beneficial. If possible, simulate aspects of travel at home. 

• Watch videos and look up pictures of where you’ll be going and what you’ll be doing. 

• Discuss the trip with your child in a positive and clear tone, using visual aids to help them understand the plans. 

• Choose Sensory-Friendly Destinations: 

• Look for places known for their sensory-friendly environments. Many attractions now offer sensory spaces, quiet hours, and "flash passes" to help visitors avoid long waits.

• Prepare for Transitions: 

• Help your child understand the process by creating a social story with pictures of the transportation, stops, and the destination. 

• Use a calendar to count down the days until the trip visually. 

• If you already have a family calendar, you can try adding a marker that visualizes the trip, like an airplane, that the child moves each day to count down to the trip.

• Use Pre-Visit Resources: 

• Take advantage of resources like maps, visual schedules, and social stories provided by many venues to prepare your child for what to expect.

• The IBCCES Accessibility Card and the Disability Access Service (DAS) at theme parks can also help with requesting accommodations.

• Plan for downtime: 

• Create a flexible itinerary with plenty of downtime to prevent sensory overload.

• If possible, when you arrive, provide a quiet, low-demand space that your child can access to utilize when they feel overwhelmed during the trip. 

Packing Essentials

• Prepare a Comfort/Sensory Kit: 

• Pack a bag with items that provide comfort and a sense of calm. This could include a weighted blanket, noise-canceling headphones, a sleep mask, favorite fidget toys, preferred snacks, tactile toys, and a visual schedule of the trip.

• If you plan on trying a new comfort item, such as headphones for the trip, we recommend that you introduce them to the child a few weeks before the trip, if possible.

• Health and Food: 

• Always pack medications, a first-aid kit, and a familiar snack where they are accessible during travel. 

• If your child is brand or flavor specific for over-the-counter medication, you may want to pack their preferred type of a few basic 

• Identification: 

• Consider an ID bracelet, a kid’s communication device, such as a gizmo, Bark phone, or GPS tracker for added safety.

Traveling by Plane

Flying can be overwhelming due to crowds, noise, and the many transitions involved. When possible, book flights during off-peak hours to avoid the busiest times. To ease the journey, consider utilizing these offered airport accommodations:

Airport Accommodations: 

• Inform the airline in advance about your child's needs. Many airlines offer accommodations like early or priority boarding and specific seating assignments. Consider applying for TSA Precheck, and for additional support, you can call a TSA Passenger Support Specialist at least 72 hours before your flight to assist with navigating security. 

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqYHtL6AUYM

• Consider getting a TSA Disabilities Notification Card 

• https://www.tsa.gov/travel/tsa-cares/disabilities-and-medical-conditions

• The Hidden Disabilities Sunflower Program is also a great option, as wearing a sunflower lanyard discreetly signals to airport staff that a traveler may need extra time or assistance.

• The Sunflower symbol doesn’t focus on the invisible; it triggers a simple question ‘How can I help you?’ to focus on the support or understanding you need. By wearing the Sunflower, you’re letting everyone know that you might need extra help, understanding, or more time.  

• https://hdsunflower.com/

Tips when Traveling by Car

Road trips offer more control and flexibility, but they still require careful planning.

• Plan the Route: 

• Research the journey to find rest stops and attractions that cater to your child's interests and needs. 

• Break up the drive into manageable segments with frequent stops for sensory breaks.

• Try to use stops for sensory breaks, running if there's space, try to search for playgrounds and parks on the route for climbing and swinging.

• Accommodation Checks: 

• When booking overnight stays, call ahead to verify if they offer autism-friendly environments or specific accommodations.

• Some kid-focused places have extra accommodations, while others have extra over-stimulation.  Consider asking about the volume in the lobby and kids’ attractions.  

Recognizing Sensory Overload and Autistic Burnout

Understanding the signs of distress is crucial for a successful trip.  

• Signs of Sensory Overload: 

• Watch for irritability, difficulty concentrating, changes in speech, increased stimming, or a desire to withdraw.

• Signs of Autistic Burnout: 

• This can manifest as extreme fatigue, lack of motivation, memory loss, and social exhaustion. If your child is experiencing burnout, provide a quiet, low-demand environment. Allow for rest and extra time with their special interests. Offer reassurance and be patient.

These tips are a collection of advice from our occupational therapists and parents of neurodivergent children. Different tips will work for different children and different trips. Please use this more as a menu than a checklist, deciding what could work for your child, family, and each unique special family adventure. 

Podcast - Why Your Child Can't Sit Still And How OT Could Help

Recently, I had the pleasure of joining local providers, Samantha Straub & Dr. Melissa Wellner on their podcast “Parenting Shrink Wrapped” for an enlightening conversation, starting with a question many parents ask: Why can’t my kid sit still?

During the podcast episode, we discussed how OT can empower kids—and their parents—in these situations. Occupational therapy isn’t just about physical exercises; it’s about creating personalized strategies that meet a child’s sensory and developmental needs.  From playful approaches like activities that engage proprioceptive input (deep pressure or movement) to calming sensory tools, OT helps children feel in control, improve focus, and foster important skills for emotional regulation. The beauty is that these solutions are fun for the child while being incredibly impactful when tailored to your child’s unique needs making it a “just-right challenge.”

The podcast episode has lots of insights, and perhaps even some aha moments, for parents, caregivers, and anyone curious about sensory processing and regulation! In the episode, we cover:

• The difference between "can't" and "won't" in behaviors.

• Why movement and sensory input are often key to helping kids regulate.

• An overview of what pediatric Occupational Therapy is and how it helps kids. 

I loved hearing Sam and Melissa’s perspectives on OT as both parents and providers. Their entire podcast series is a treasure trove of insights for parents.  Check out this episode, #33 “Why Your Child Can't Sit Still And How OT Could Help,” and then peruse this great free resource for other topics relevant to your parenting experience. 

👉 Listen on Apple Podcasts: Shrink Wrapped Podcast Episode 33

👉 Listen on Spotify: Shrink Wrapped Podcast Episode 33

👉 Listen on iHeart: Shrink Wrapped Podcast Episode 33

Building Connection without Demands

Embracing kids for who they are without placing a demand for a verbal response is so important to help kids feel connected. It gives them a sense of safety and belonging. Using low-demand connection-based phrases can help your child regulate and build confidence. These are especially helpful phrases to use after school or when your child is burned out. Here are some ideas:

 Connection-based phrase ideas for parents:

• “I love spending time with you”

• “I’m so happy to see you!”

• “I couldn't wait to pick you up from school today!”

• “You have great ideas!”

• “This family would not be the same without you.”

• “I’m so excited to spend time with you.”

• “I thought about you when you were at school today.”

• “I thought about you when I was grocery shopping today, I bought your favorite ____” 

• “I missed you today while you were at school”

• “I love it when you share your ideas with me”

• “Being around you is fun”

• “I love to watch you play”

• “I am so lucky to be your parent”

As parents, it's so hard to hold back our questions when it comes to what your child did at school and how they behaved. It’s totally normal as a parent to want to know if they listened to their teacher or if they got in trouble, but this really adds to the child’s stress and pressure (which is inevitable when you're having a hard time at school). Instead of asking questions about behavior or open-ended questions that are hard to answer, try some of these connection-based questions.

Connection-based questions for parents:

• What was something funny that happened at school today?

• Tell me something that made you happy today.

• What book did you read at circle time today?

• What did you play during recess?

• What was your favorite thing you learned today?

• Tell me something kind someone did today.

• What did you notice today at school that other people probably didn’t notice?

• Were you able to help someone today with a problem?

• What did you try hard at today?

Praise is a great way to build confidence in kids. Providing a variety of praise, especially praise that builds self-esteem, authenticity, and intrinsic motivation, is key. Here are some ideas:

Praise the STRATEGY:

◦ You found a really good way to do it!

◦ I didn't think of it that way

◦ I love how your mind works

Praise with SPECIFICITY:

◦ You really seem to understand multiplication

◦ I like how you organized your room

◦ I love the way you tell stories

Praise EFFORT:

◦ You worked hard on that

◦ I could tell that was important to you

◦ I notice you have been working on that

Every moment spent together, filled with connection-based phrases and thoughtful questions, allows children to blossom into their truest selves. The power of praise, through acknowledging their unique strategies, specific achievements, and unwavering effort, ignites children's and all people’s self-esteem and intrinsic motivation. 

Parenting is challenging, especially parenting neurodiverse children.  Your intentional parenting, embracing their individuality and celebrating the amazing progress they have already made, is helping your child become more confident, resilient, and full of boundless potential.